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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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