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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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