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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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