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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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