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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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